Saturday, 13 October 2007

Vandalising Phone Boxes

The time has come to bite the bullet and leap into the void that is children's organised activity mornings. Lily is old enough now to be a part of stuff, unfortunately.
She is no longer just content with me singing baa-baa black sheep rather tunelessly and blowing intermittent raspberries on her chubby cheeks; she needs fun and activity and socialising and all that STUFF I REALLY RATHER HATE. Stuff that involves me having to communicate with other mothers and drink insipid instant coffee and flail about miserably trying to find something in common when there quite clearly isn't anything and masking it all with innocuous discussions about growth spurts. So I have duly signed up for some weird hippy-dippy-shit-scarf-dancing-music and movement group for 0-4 year olds.


In any normal circumstance I wouldn't be caught dead in a community centre teeming with middle-class toddlers let loose on a bucket full of tambourines...
I am doing this for you Lily, it is not the first of many horrendous sacrifices your mother has had to make on your behalf and I'll wager it certainly won't be the last.
I hope you duly recompense me later on in life by refraining from slashing car tyres and vandalising phone boxes.

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