Carbon Footprint

Sometimes, on rainy, wintry whattodo days like these we take Lily for drive; just because it gets us out of the house, the baby invariably will sleep and we get to finally talk to one another. So that's what happened, we loaded up and drove up towards Ryedale, up towards where I spent most of my childhood.

If there is still such a thing as kinship of the land then my affinity lies with the Moors, just a whiff of some wet bracken, the sight of yellow gorse and purple heather sends me somersaulting into childhood reminisces. We found a pleasant long meandering road, the burnt umber bracken all beaten down by rain, the trees every colour of autumn and I smelt that smell again, the smell of my youth and fell to wondering what evocative sights and sounds my little girl would remember most from her upbringing.

It is a weighty thought to believe that you are responsible for a large part of someones memories, but above all I hope that I can allow her to experience some of the freedom and innocence that I had as a child, running wild, elemental and barefoot across the beautiful North Yorkshire Moors.

Besotted

The most exciting thing in Lily's life at the moment is the cat, all of Lily's Love is directed towards Sir Launcelot Ghengis Tinkerbell...unfortunately it is not reciprocated. Tinker does his level best to sidestep the annoyance that is my daughter at every given opportunity and Lily's desperate attempts to touch and grab and squeeze and pull are almost always foiled.

It is quite heartbreaking to watch her being constantly rebuffed. Her little face never fails to light up with glee when the cat is in town, even in her darkest moments the mere mention of Tinker's name is enough to pull her out of most hissy fits. First love always hits the hardest, especially when it is unrequited.

Pay back time will be yours baby girl, once proper crawling has commenced.

Moments

I stopped breastfeeding at 4 and a half months. I stopped because it was painful and traumatic and I wasn't producing enough and I was so guilt ridden and broken hearted by the whole experience that I thought it was time to give both Lily and I a break.

Up to about 2 weeks ago I was still comfort feeding her at night, just at the early morning feed and just while we waited for daddy to bring up a warmed bottle.

I am really missing those moments; drowsy, still half dreaming, curled up tight and snug next to her warm little body, smelling her skin and listening to her gentle snufflings.

More often than not she sleeps through now and I have to grab a morning cuddle in the big bed, carrying her sleepy-eyed from her cot to be placed ceremoniously between Mummy, Daddy and the cat for kisses and cutches and sweet whispered nothings.

Ha! Ha!

This week I am rejoicing in the fact that my baby is such a giggler. Seems recently her sense of humour has blossomed and she likes to laugh, long and hard at really almost anything, but here is her Top Ten to date:
Daddy shouting peek-a-boo
Daddy blowing raspberries
Daddy tickling her cheek with his beard
Daddy kissing her fingers
Mummy sucking her toes
Mummy quacking like a duck
Mummy playing "This Little Piggy..."
Mummy and Daddy 'fake' laughing
Lily being hurled up into the air
Lily being thrown upside down

Today, as I squirted myself in the eye with a rubber duck she almost toppled over from laughing so hard.
I wonder how the sense of humour is formed?

First Shoes

Day of the Dead Party

I had the first night away from the baby this weekend to go party like I used to party, which I did with gusto. Really what I should have done was booked myself into a hotel room and slept, instead I slammed copious quantities of tequila until 4.30 am and crashed out on the living room floor.

Was it difficult being way from my girl? Yes.

Was it worth it? Definitely.