Finger Painting

Training Lily up for The Slade.

1 in 3

I guess I've been hesitant about mentioning the miscarriage because this is primarily a blog about Lily, a place where I can record all the minutiae of her life so that I will hopefully not forget; some of them great big enormous milestones, most of them just little pockets of beauty.
Leaving the hospital life seemed so shockingly normal I just couldn't quite comprehend how one minute something was there filling you up, preoccupying all of your thoughts, presenting untold possibilities and then it wasn't.
Losing a baby is extremely common but rarely is it talked about. I know I am lucky to have one child, a blessing that many people are denied but I can't help feeling we have been cheated and that Lily has been cheated too, that we all have I suppose.
One thing has transpired, it has definitely solidified my desire for more children, something I seemed to have only guessed at before; panicking that I could not cope, that Lily would suffer no longer being the centre of our universe (though of course she will always be so.)
I picture myself with a little troupe of babies holding on to my skirt tails and know I would not feel this way but for Lily and the light she has switched on in us.
For anyone interested this eloquent lady has put what I wanted to say in much finer words:
http://weeklywire.com/ww/11-03-97/nash_cl-home_brood.html

The Naming of Things

I am no longer MMMMmmmmummmmmummumuma, I am MAMA!
I much prefer it to Mummy and am hoping it sticks.

Scooby Snack

Lily demolishing a pepper. Prior to this she ate half a bunch of fresh parsley. At playgroup she ignored a plate of cakes and plumped for the decorative fruit instead.
Her eating habits startle and amaze me.
Smoked mackerel, broccoli and peas are a great favourite but she would happily live off oranges if you'd let her.

Staithes

A holiday by the seaside in January might not be everyone's cup of tea but it was exactly what was needed. The winter sun was kind enough to shine, the waves rolled and lashed and the brisk ocean breeze blew away some of the grief that Christmas had left behind. Best of all was our cosy cottage where Lily played in front of a roaring fire and Mama and Dada knitted and read the paper (you will have to guess who did what) and drank some very good wine and ate some excellent Whitby fish.
Sometimes the simplest of holidays are the best and I was very sad to say goodbye to that beautiful coastline and the peacocks who happened to be living in our garden.

Lily at 20 Months

Ps and Qs

Just for the record Lily can say thank you and does so frequently and appropriately and usually accompanied by kisses.